Posts Tagged ‘Rape’

Not Asking For It.

April 3, 2013 17 comments


As a society, the way we treat rape and sexual abuse is back assward. It’s not a woman’s job to avoid rape: It’s the man’s job to – you know, NOT RAPE!!! No means no, and not saying yes means no. I repeat, anything other than yes means no!

Revealing clothes do not equal consent.

Flirting does not equal consent.

Coercion doe not equal consent.

Incapacitation does not equal consent.

Any questions?

I wish our society would stop blaming the victim, and start treating the perpetrators for what they are- violent criminals.

January 27, 2013 Leave a comment

These are chilling statistics. To see how you can help, go to



Human rights should be a top priority for all people in the world as they are rights that every human deserves, but not all receive. Any one person in a minority group is subject to human rights discrimination. Women are among those who are vulnerable to such discrimination. The infographic above is from blog. These figures are alarming, so please educate yourself so you too can stand up and be a voice of change.

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I Need Feminism Because

January 17, 2013 Leave a comment


More Thoughts On Football And The Culture Of Rape.

January 10, 2013 6 comments

Yesterday I talked about the misogynist atmosphere that exist in the sport of football. I focused on the sexist rant perpetrated by Brent Musberger as he drooled over Katherine Webb, the girlfriend of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron. Today, when I got home from work, my partner shared with me this article posted on Upworthy: A Horrifying Thing Happened In Ohio. Not Being Creepy Could Prevent It From Happening Again.. The article discusses the controversy surrounding the rape of a 16 year old girl by two high school football players from Steubenville, Ohio. The girl was at a party, had too much to drink and passed out. After she was out cold, the two players in question raped the girl, while pictures and video were taken. Of course, the pictures and video became public. In the aftermath, the coach of the football team tried to dismiss the rape as a teen age girl trying to stay out of trouble with her parents. The article itself is brief, but more importantly it introduces a video that you simply must watch.

I agree 100% with the young man speaking in the video. Whether a man, young or old understands what rape is, it’s still rape. This is the problem with our patriarchal culture. Boys are simply not educated enough about what constitutes rape, and in the often times violent world of football, a culture of rape does indeed exists. As I mentioned yesterday in my blog post, when I played high school football, girls were viewed as objects to conquer and fuck. It is a world of  machismo, of prove your manhood at any cost, and coaches do very little on any level to educate or dissuade young men from this behavior. If we are going to change our culture of rape in sports, or in society in general, we must be proactive. We must educate our sons what is creepy, what is inappropriate, and what is rape. If we can’t or won’t do this, then the culture of rape will continue to permeate every level of society.

In somewhat related news, Pittsburgh Steelers running back Chris Rainey was charged with domestic violence for slapping his girlfriend during an argument over a cell phone. As a result, the Steelers announced today that they were cutting all ties with Rainey. I say kudos to the Steelers for showing zero tolerance for this misogynistic behavior. However, I would add that the same should have been done a few years ago to Ben Roethlisberger, after he was charged not once, but twice with rape and sexual assault. His alleged actions merely earned him a 4 game suspension from the NFL, but no action by the team was ever taken. What happened with Rainey was a positive action, but I’m still of the mind that punishments doled out in football, particularly when it comes to domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault, always fits the talent level of the player rather than the crime.

Poem about My Rights – June Jordan

August 24, 2012 Leave a comment

I came across this wonderful, angry poem yesterday, and had to share. Though it was written decades ago, it’s message is painfully appropriate now.

Without further adieu I share with you:

Poem About My Rights

Even tonight and I need to take a walk and clear
my head about this poem about why I can’t
go out without changing my clothes my shoes
my body posture my gender identity my age
my status as a woman alone in the evening/
alone on the streets/alone not being the point/
the point being that I can’t do what I want
to do with my own body because I am the wrong
sex the wrong age the wrong skin and
suppose it was not here in the city but down on the beach/
or far into the woods and I wanted to go
there by myself thinking about God/or thinking
about children or thinking about the world/all of it
disclosed by the stars and the silence:
I could not go and I could not think and I could not
stay there
as I need to be
alone because I can’t do what I want to do with my own
body and
who in the hell set things up
like this
and in France they say if the guy penetrates
but does not ejaculate then he did not rape me
and if after stabbing him after screams if
after begging the bastard and if even after smashing
a hammer to his head if even after that if he
and his buddies fuck me after that
then I consented and there was
no rape because finally you understand finally
they fucked me over because I was wrong I was
wrong again to be me being me where I was/wrong
to be who I am
which is exactly like South Africa
penetrating into Namibia penetrating into
Angola and does that mean I mean how do you know if
Pretoria ejaculates what will the evidence look like the
proof of the monster jackboot ejaculation on Blackland
and if
after Namibia and if after Angola and if after Zimbabwe
and if after all of my kinsmen and women resist even to
self-immolation of the villages and if after that
we lose nevertheless what will the big boys say will they
claim my consent:
Do You Follow Me: We are the wrong people of
the wrong skin on the wrong continent and what
in the hell is everybody being reasonable about
and according to the Times this week
back in 1966 the C.I.A. decided that they had this problem
and the problem was a man named Nkrumah so they
killed him and before that it was Patrice Lumumba
and before that it was my father on the campus
of my Ivy League school and my father afraid
to walk into the cafeteria because he said he
was wrong the wrong age the wrong skin the wrong
gender identity and he was paying my tuition and
before that
it was my father saying I was wrong saying that
I should have been a boy because he wanted one/a
boy and that I should have been lighter skinned and
that I should have had straighter hair and that
I should not be so boy crazy but instead I should
just be one/a boy and before that
it was my mother pleading plastic surgery for
my nose and braces for my teeth and telling me
to let the books loose to let them loose in other
I am very familiar with the problems of the C.I.A.
and the problems of South Africa and the problems
of Exxon Corporation and the problems of white
America in general and the problems of the teachers
and the preachers and the F.B.I. and the social
workers and my particular Mom and Dad/I am very
familiar with the problems because the problems
turn out to be
I am the history of rape
I am the history of the rejection of who I am
I am the history of the terrorized incarceration of
my self
I am the history of battery assault and limitless
armies against whatever I want to do with my mind
and my body and my soul and
whether it’s about walking out at night
or whether it’s about the love that I feel or
whether it’s about the sanctity of my vagina or
the sanctity of my national boundaries
or the sanctity of my leaders or the sanctity
of each and every desire
that I know from my personal and idiosyncratic
and disputably single and singular heart
I have been raped
cause I have been wrong the wrong sex the wrong age
the wrong skin the wrong nose the wrong hair the
wrong need the wrong dream the wrong geographic
the wrong sartorial I
I have been the meaning of rape
I have been the problem everyone seeks to
eliminate by forced
penetration with or without the evidence of slime and/
but let this be unmistakable this poem
is not consent I do not consent
to my mother to my father to the teachers to
the F.B.I. to South Africa to Bedford-Stuy
to Park Avenue to American Airlines to the hardon
idlers on the corners to the sneaky creeps in
I am not wrong: Wrong is not my name
My name is my own my own my own
and I can’t tell you who the hell set things up like this
but I can tell you that from now on my resistance
my simple and daily and nightly self-determination
may very well cost you your life.

How Much Longer Are We Going to Continue to Treat Victims as Villains?

April 14, 2012 6 comments

Rape victims say military labels them crazy

Banned from Kickstarter for being a stalking victim.

What do these two articles have in common? They both tell the story of women who are victims of rape, sexual abuse, and stalking. In addition, both articles recount how the victims are dismissed; the first article talks about women in the military who after reporting rape and sexual abuse to their superiors, are suddenly diagnosed with personality disorders, and discharged without any benefits. Meanwhile, their attackers are free to continue on in the military, probably to attack yet more women who serve alongside them. The second article details the story of a woman who has been harassed by the same cyber stalker for over a decade; in this instance, because of the cyber stalker, she is banned from the site Kickstarter, the “number one crowdfunding site in the world.”

These two articles are but a microcosm of how our society treats those who would dare to become a victim of  sexual and hate crimes. Women who would dare to report rape and sexual abuse are crazy or asking for it. A woman who is stalked over the internet is banned for drawing spam from her stalker. Homosexuals who are victims of hate crimes had it coming because they are sexual deviants. Young black men are gunned down because they must be involved in gang activity, or looking to break into someone’s house.  The fact is that if you are someone who is one the outside of the white male christian patriarchy, you are a fringe member of society, and should you be attacked, your victim-hood is subject to white male christian scrutiny.  It’s disgusting, but it’s true.

So how do we as a society over come this mindset? I think the case of Trayvon Martin speaks volumes as to how: In spite of the attacks on his character from the conservative factions in our country, enough people banded together created enough furor that law enforcement was pushed to take action. Outrage must be publicized, and those who have had enough of  the marginalization and character assassination of those who dare to be victims must band together and attack the good old boy way of thinking of those who feverishly defend the status quo of white male privilege.

It’s time to do the right thing, It’s time to stop treating the victim as a villain.

Would Someone Please Provide Rick Santorum a Clue? Or Perhaps a Shred of Humanity?

January 24, 2012 2 comments
speaking at CPAC in Washington D.C. on Februar...

Image via Wikipedia

America’s favorite misogynist patriarchal theocrat is at it again. When asked about abortion in cases of rape, in particular context of if it was his daughter, Rick “frothy mix” Santorum had this to say to Piers Morgan during an interview conducted this past Friday:

“Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn’t have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life. And this is not an easy choice. I understand that. As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or doesn’t, it will always be her child. And she will always know that. And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I’ve always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. As you know, we have to, in lots of different aspects of our life. We have horrible things happen. I can’t think of anything more horrible. But, nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation.”

Of course, this would be easy for this bizarre religious wing nut to say, because you know, he doesn’t happen to possess a uterus. However, he would love to own and dictate what happens to every American uterus. He’s made that abundantly clear.

Posted from my piece of crap Blackberry