Archive

Archive for the ‘Life Style’ Category

The Laughable Look of The American Wankster.

I get that everyone in the world loves and emulates American pop culture. It’s been going on ever since the American cowboy was a real thing. It’s possibly been going on longer than that. What I don’t get is the suburban emulation of the gang banger. You see them everywhere: Teens and young adults dressed in clothes that are two sizes too big, wearing hats with ridiculous flat brims and at crazy angles. They often adorn such wanna be fashion with Mr T starter sets around their necks, wrists, and fingers. You see them at malls, grocery stores, movie theaters, fast food restaurants and convenience stores. Furthermore, it’s not enough to dress like a gang banger: Most of these wanksters have to walk, talk, and act like they are truly inner city thugs, doing whatever needs to be done to survive. In reality, these people are suburban, somewhat affluent, and live in a world that is 100 times further away from inner city life than the world they actually live in.

They think they look like this:

Ok, that look is kind of bad ass.

Ok, that look is kind of bad ass.

When they really look like this:

Homodorkicus

I think I used to work with this guy at the Kwicky Mart.

I get that the gang banger has been part of our pop culture scene for nearly thirty years now. Movies like Colors and New Jack City have popularized the gang banger, while rappers have been extremely successful in perpetuating the stereotype. I get it, however, I think it’s stupid. It’s stupid and dangerous. The look glorifies gang violence. It glorifies drug abuse. It glorifies mistreatment of women. It is simply a bad lifestyle to emulate, and most of these pretenders look like idiots instead of thugs. To me looking at a wankster is as unbearable as seeing my grandmother dressed as a stripper. Seriously dude, you don’t look like a tough guy, you look like a moron.

In honor of the gangster wanna be, or wankster as I like to call you, I want to dedicate a couple of songs to you. I hope you find them as ludicrous as I find you. You may think you’re 2Chainz, but really you’re just 2Goofy.

Now get out of my grill before I pull your card. Word.

Categories: Life Style Tags: ,

I Think Einstein Was On To Something

The-Day-That-Einstein-Feared-Has-Arrived

There’s Hope Yet For Geeks, Freaks and Dorks!

What The Perfect Couple May Look Like.

It’s official, tall dark and handsome is out for the ladies these days. A recent poll suggest that women are attracted to guys that are less than perfect. According to a spokesman for onepoll.com:
“Publically, girls will claim they want a muscly guy, who is hair free and manly enough not to show his emotional side. “But these results prove that they secretly want something different. It seems women really do like a guy who is able to show a softer side, or who is carrying a little bit of extra weight.” “I’m sure it’s a relief to men all over the country to find out that women aren’t actually looking for that perfect guy.”

Duh! That perfect guy does not exist. (Present company excluded of course; where is that damn sarcasm font?) While appearance is of some importance, it only gets a person so far. What counts in the mating game is chemistry; if two people click on almost all levels, they will hook up and stay together for a long time. Take me for example: I am a complete dork, slightly out of shape, and pretty much covered from head to toe with body hair. This is TMI I know, but I’m trying to make a point damn it! For all my physical and personality flaws, after 5+ years Mrs.TFH still looks at me like I’m a pork chop, and I do the same with her. Neither one of us is the “perfect mate” yet we view each other as such. The idea of the perfect mate is blown out of proportion by the media.

If you live in your parent’s basement, play World of War craft and know every word of every episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine don’t despair. Somewhere out there, somebody is looking for you. You do have to come out of the basement though if you want to get found. Oh, you might want to take a shower and brush your teeth. I’m pretty sure nobody is looking for stinky with bad breath!

For TFA, check out this link.The Perfect Man

Categories: In the News, Life Style Tags:

Next up in Trailer Park Fashion.

The reality of lingerie, as opposed to the fan...

Image via Wikipedia

So, I was surfing the web this morning, (do young people still use that term?) and came across this article about Noah Cyrus, Hill Billy Ray’s nine year old daughter. Apparently little miss Noah tall is going to model lingerie geared toward pre-pubescent girls. You can read the article here, with pics that are guaranteed to make you throw up in your mouth! http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=585857&showcomments=true&rss=yes

Rumor has it that Roman Polanski (obscure?) has offered to direct the ads for free. Seriously, what’s next? push up training bras? crotchless diapers? a Huggies line of thongs? Maybe they could name the new line Prosti-Tots.

Face it people our children are becoming sex objects at an even earlier age.Kids should be considering if white or chocolate milk goes better with their dinner, not what color thigh highs go better with their red teddy and black hooker boots. Gary Glitter even thinks this is disturbing.

I can’t wait until the Jonas Brothers line of BDSM wear comes out next fall…