Archive for the ‘Enough about me.’ Category

I Dunno

I don’t have much to say today. Maybe I’ll have more to say later. Not that it matters; nobody reads this shit anyway. In the meantime, here’s a video of animals hanging out together.

Categories: Enough about me. Tags: ,

The Important Question Everyone Is Asking Me.

Who doesn't love Lloyd Dobler?

Hint: The answer to the question involves this guy.

There’s been a lot going on recently: There is the one year anniversary of the Ferguson shooting, complete with protests and more violence. There was a GOP Presidential debate that hardly anyone watched. Oh, and Russia apparently has made Santa Claus and Mrs Claus, as well as their extended elven family, sovereign Russian citizens. 

Stay the fuck out of our hood Putin!

Stay the fuck out of our hood Putin!

In light of these events, a lot of people are asking me one important question: “Tin Foil Hat Man, what are your favorite 80’s teen movies?” Being the socially conscious blogger that I am, I feel obliged to answer this continuously controversial question.

#5 Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Fast Times was hilarious, and featured some awesome music. I loved Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli, he continues to be one of my favorite movie characters. Also: This.

#4 Back To The Future

Back To The Future is one of those movies that defines the times you were living in. I remember nearly everything that was going on in my life when this movie came out. It was a roller coaster of a movie, and pared well with my roller coaster life at the time.

#3 Say Anything

I didn’t actually see this movie until around 2005. It was an instant favorite the moment I saw it. John Cusack makes my list twice with my inclusion of

#2 Sixteen Candles

This is one of my favorite movies – period. It had laughs galore. It had a cool love story. It had both John and Joan Cusack, and oh, it had this guy:

#1A The Breakfast Club

This was the ultimate in teen anti-establishment movies. What wasn’t to love about The Breakfast Club? I simply adore this movie, and I could watch it over and over and never get sick of it.

#1 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

I love this movie so much that I want to marry it, and bear its children. Who doesn’t love a movie that features this?

Or this?

And this?

I know what you’re thinking. “Tin Foil Hatman, why are there 6 movies? You said that this is a top 5 list! Can’t you count?” Yes, it is a top 5 list, and I know that I put 6 movies on it. You see, I’m a rebel: I’m John Bender, I’m Jeff Spicoli, I’m Ferris Bueller. I’m the guy who breaks rules and laughs about it the entire time. At least on here I am. Otherwise I’m just a guy that writes blog posts that nobody reads 😉 I hope you enjoyed the list. Do me a solid and tell me about some of your favorites in the comments! In the mean time, I’m off to the movies.

Later Ya’ll!


When Tourism Becomes Intrusion.

Recently, my partner and I went on a week long vacation to Mexico. We spent a mostly enjoyable week lounging on the beaches of the Maya Riviera, at an all inclusive resort. On Tuesday of that week, we went on a ten hour excursion that included touring the Maya ruins Coba, a visit to an authentic Maya village, and swimming in a cenote, one of the thousands of fresh water sink holes that exist through out the country. Frankly, though the ruins were really cool, it was a long and troubling death march that neither my partner nor I were prepared for. The most troubling part to me was the visit to the Maya village.

When we first learned of the Maya village, we were both thinking that it was a public site, much like Cherokee Village in North Carolina. We thought that we would be taken to a place where Mayan history was to be re-enacted by people of Maya ancestry. We didn’t expect the harsh reality that we actually encountered.

What we were taken to instead was an actual Maya neighborhood that existed in a small, impoverished rural town outside of Coba.  What we witnessed was no re-enactment: what we saw was actual Mayan families scratching out a living by allowing strangers into their one room huts, living on tips and the money that they made from crafts. Both my wife and I felt like intruders.  It was more disturbing than cultural exchange.

Although the families seemed perfectly happy where they were, I couldn’t help but feel sad. I can’t help but think that they are not choosing to live the lives of their ancestors, but instead playing with the hand that they were dealt.  They opened their doors to us, they shared their food with us, and they danced for us. Their Shaman even performed a religious ritual for us. I should have felt honored, but instead I just felt like a dirty, ugly American intruder. The whole experience was just disturbing.

I understand that every culture is different, that people must do what they have to in order to scratch out a living. I am in no way condemning how these people live, nor what they do to make a living. It is their way of life, and it is not up to me to judge. They could be perfectly happy for all I know. It just saddens me that a proud race of people who dominated the Yucatan Peninsula centuries ago now depend on tips and craft money to buy clothes and food.

I’m glad I met them, but again, I felt like a complete interloper.

I Think I’m Going to Loose My Mind!

WTF internet? When did lose become loose? Am I missing something here? Every where I look, I see people who freely substitute the word “loose” for the word “lose”. Such as “OMG, I think my team is going to loose this game!” In case everyone has forgotten, here’s a reminder of how to use these two very different words.

Loose -“The fucking dog is loose again!”

Lose – “If I see one more fucking misuse of the word loose, I’m going to lose my shit!”

See the difference? These two words are in no way interchangeable. I don’t mean to be a grammar nazi here, but Jesus Christ people, you’re better than that. At least I think you’re better than that. Let’s review one more time:

Loose – “Your grasp of the English language has apparently been set loose.”

Lose – “Did you lose your grasp of the English language?”

Could we please correct this before I LOSE all of my faith in humanity?

On Rudeness And The Devolution Of Our Society In General.


Since I recently became a retail worker, this meme I came across rings particularly true to me. As I stand for what seems to be endless hours behind my cash register, I constantly repeat the same question over and over again in my mind: ” At what point did our civilization become generally rude? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly a bastion of social grace myself. However, I did learn and do practice some basic social rules: I speak when I’m spoken to. I say hello, please, thank you, have a nice day, blah blah blah. When I give something to a person, I hand it to them, not flip it at them like they don’t deserve it. I smile back at people when they smile at me – you know basic actions of civility that have helped keep our society functioning for thousands of years. Apparently, the rules have changed. People no longer have to perform these perfunctory behaviors, particularly when conducting a 30 second transaction with their friendly local Kwickie Mart cashier. Here’s an example of an exchange that happens daily during one of my shifts:

Me – ” Hello, how are you today?”

Customer – ” Marlboro Light 100’s in a box.”

Me – “Marlboro Light 100’s in a box sir/maam?”

Customer – No response

Me – “No problem, here you go. Will there be anything else sir/maam?”

Customer – No response

Me -” Ok, your total is $5.23.”

Customer – Angrily flips wadded up money across the counter at me.

Me – “Ok, that’s $5.23 out of 6. 77 cents is your change. Thank you and have a nice day.”

Customer – No response, turns and walks out the door.

Bear in mind, this is usually one of the most congenial of exchanges. Most transactions involve a lot of complaining about how we charge too much, or hateful curt responses, or anger over the fact that I don’t have 20’s in my drawer to change their 100 dollar bill, etc, etc. What the fuck is this all about? I am convinced that the general customer behavior in a convenience store is but a mere microcosm of how our society has devolved.  It disgusts me, and it frightens me.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t one of those “What’s wrong with kids these days” rants that you used to hear from your grandpa.  This general rudeness and hatefulness isn’t even exclusive to an age group: I find it common practice to be an asshole across every generation. Dickish boorish behavior now spans from 8 to 80. Ass hattery apparently has no born on, nor expiration date.

It’s not just in the store that I see this going on. I call and leave messages which never get returned, whether they be personal or professional. I send e-mails that are never responded to. I smile and say hello to someone out and public and they ignore me. I hold a door open for someone, and the action goes unacknowledged. Courtesy is mostly a thing of the past folks, and that’s a shame. So why is this happening? Is it the internet? There are a lot of trolls and bullies on the intertubes; anonymity seems to bring out the worst in people. Is it the behaviors of those who are regularly in the public eye? Celebrities and politicians alike seem to think nothing of destroying others in public. There is no decorum what so ever in the way they comport themselves. Are we the sheeple merely following their leads? I have no idea. All I know is that cordiality is supposed to beget cordiality, and that just isn’t happening anymore.

What I do know is that our society has eroded to little more than a community that shares camaraderie in hatefulness and arrogance. This group hates that group, and the exchanges between those of different ideologies are mean spirited. Hell, even the groups that claim to be oppressed lash out against those who are not like them. It’s sobering to consider that there is more hate and anger then there is a willingness to understand and accept our differences.

In the mean time, socially flawed as I am, I’m still going to comport myself in a civil and polite manner. I will continue to hold doors open, say “please”, “thank you”, and “have a nice day”, whether I’m working or out having dinner. Furthermore, I’m going to try really, really hard to resist the urge to grab the next rude customer by the hair, and smash their face into the counter.

After all, it’s the polite thing to do 🙂

Yes, Please!

I wish this was on the front door of the Kwickie Mart I work at:



I’ve seen so many guys come into the store with baggy droopy pants, that I feel like I’m working at the gangster version of International Male. Seriously dude. Pull your drawers up. You don’t look bad ass, you look like someone whose mom never taught to dress.

But What Would Human Resources Say?

I’m at work today, tending to the Kwickie Mart coffee bar. Our weekly grocery truck shows up, and the driver walks in through the front door. In light of the weather, he starts talking to my manager, complaining how he had to deliver through the front door at the last few stores because of the snow and ice pile up. My manager responds to this with “Well it’s clear, so you can come in my back door.” Luckily, I was facing away from them, so they couldn’t see the look on my face. As it was, I nearly dropped both pots I was holding at the time.

I am living proof that no matter how old you get, you’re never to old to have your mind in the gutter. 😉