The Laughable Look of The American Wankster.
I get that everyone in the world loves and emulates American pop culture. It’s been going on ever since the American cowboy was a real thing. It’s possibly been going on longer than that. What I don’t get is the suburban emulation of the gang banger. You see them everywhere: Teens and young adults dressed in clothes that are two sizes too big, wearing hats with ridiculous flat brims and at crazy angles. They often adorn such wanna be fashion with Mr T starter sets around their necks, wrists, and fingers. You see them at malls, grocery stores, movie theaters, fast food restaurants and convenience stores. Furthermore, it’s not enough to dress like a gang banger: Most of these wanksters have to walk, talk, and act like they are truly inner city thugs, doing whatever needs to be done to survive. In reality, these people are suburban, somewhat affluent, and live in a world that is 100 times further away from inner city life than the world they actually live in.
They think they look like this:
When they really look like this:
I get that the gang banger has been part of our pop culture scene for nearly thirty years now. Movies like Colors and New Jack City have popularized the gang banger, while rappers have been extremely successful in perpetuating the stereotype. I get it, however, I think it’s stupid. It’s stupid and dangerous. The look glorifies gang violence. It glorifies drug abuse. It glorifies mistreatment of women. It is simply a bad lifestyle to emulate, and most of these pretenders look like idiots instead of thugs. To me looking at a wankster is as unbearable as seeing my grandmother dressed as a stripper. Seriously dude, you don’t look like a tough guy, you look like a moron.
In honor of the gangster wanna be, or wankster as I like to call you, I want to dedicate a couple of songs to you. I hope you find them as ludicrous as I find you. You may think you’re 2Chainz, but really you’re just 2Goofy.
Now get out of my grill before I pull your card. Word.