Not Asking For It.


As a society, the way we treat rape and sexual abuse is back assward. It’s not a woman’s job to avoid rape: It’s the man’s job to – you know, NOT RAPE!!! No means no, and not saying yes means no. I repeat, anything other than yes means no!

Revealing clothes do not equal consent.

Flirting does not equal consent.

Coercion doe not equal consent.

Incapacitation does not equal consent.

Any questions?

I wish our society would stop blaming the victim, and start treating the perpetrators for what they are- violent criminals.

  1. April 3, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Rape is never the victims fault? OK, so women are helpless objects incapable of making meaningful rational choices. Women are incapable of taking action? No? Ok, so if you can please square this circle for me. Any reference to the actions of the victim is “Victim-blaming” How is this not the height of the objectification of women?


    • April 4, 2013 at 8:54 am

      It’s really not that hard to figure out.

      Murder victim

      Assault victim.

      Robbery victim.

      Rape victim.

      The common denominator is that they are all victims of a crime. Did anyone of these people have a choice in the matter, or the power to stop it? No, that’s why they are victims. The only difference between these 4 types of crimes is the victim shaming often involved in rape. I can not think of any time, where a rape victim is asking to be raped, no more so than a murder victim is asking to be murdered.


      • April 4, 2013 at 2:32 pm

        So since we don’t call questioning the motives, actions and abilities of the victims of murder assault or robery “Victim-blaming” only when we do it to rape victims is it “Victim-blaming” But wait, that does not answer the question. How is saying “person A is not capable of making meaningful choices” not the most profound form of objectification?


        • April 4, 2013 at 3:17 pm

          Who said “person A” is not capable of making responsible choices, and how is that even relevant to being a victim of rape?


          • April 4, 2013 at 3:38 pm

            Woot, got you to question…”Person A” is the victim. Clothing, location, how much to drink, bring friends, how flirty, hair color, brand of tampons, and breakfast cereals are all choices. Do these choices matter, or is the person an object that is incapable of making meaningful choices (ie their choices have no significance)


            • April 4, 2013 at 4:20 pm

              I see the little trap your setting, and I’m not walking into it. Now matter how I answer, you are going to have a reply that leads right back into your straw man.

              The bottom line is this: The one who is objectifying is the rapist. The rapist de-humanizes the victim by robbing them of their power of choice. No one deserves that ever, under any circumstance.


              • April 4, 2013 at 9:43 pm

                When your talking about actual rape victims yes. Telling an actual victim they are at fault is wrong. Telling people that are not victims how they can avoid becoming victims is not, unless they are powerless objects that are incapable of meaningful action. Are women helpless objects or should we teach them how to avoid rape?


                • April 4, 2013 at 10:34 pm

                  Even better–teach boys and men not to rape.


                  • April 4, 2013 at 10:44 pm

                    So….Teach boys to make choices for women, don’t teach girls how to make choices?


                    • April 4, 2013 at 11:37 pm

                      Teach boys to make choices for themselves, and that there’s nothing manly about sexual aggression.


                    • April 5, 2013 at 8:58 am



            • April 4, 2013 at 10:14 pm

              Hmm, do I have this right? She dressed provocatively, she went to the wrong part of town, she drank. These are all “meaningful” choices–and their meaning is clear: “I want sex.” Men can’t be blamed if she claims later that she didn’t mean to send that message; the fact is she did, so it’s her fault she was raped. Gotta hand it to you–that’s quite an ingenious inversion of both reality and morality, neutr.


              • April 5, 2013 at 2:35 am

                They where choices. The question is are they meaningful. Is she an object that is incapable of meaningful action or is she taking meaningful action?

                If women are objects incapable of meaningful actions, it’s pointless to teach women. If women are not objects, we should teach women what actions do have affects and what the affects are. We should arm women that have not yet been victimized with the knowledge of what actions they can take or not take that will affect risks of assault.


  2. April 4, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Well said, BTTFH. And great image.


  3. April 18, 2013 at 9:42 am

    I couldn’t agree more, my friend.
    Well stated.


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