Home > Politics > Conservapalooza: The June 13, 2011 Edition.

Conservapalooza: The June 13, 2011 Edition.

GOP Presidential Debate June 13, 2011 in New H...

Image by DonkeyHotey via Flickr

Did anyone watch the Republican Presidential debate last night? I meant to, but I had the pressing matter of watching 2 reruns of Bones, having a snack, and going to bed to attend to.

However, my good friend Gerry Mander was there. Gerry writes the Conservative Mythology column for the conservative magazine The Fascist. Here’s the highlights according to Gerry:

Obama sucks.

Universal Health Care sucks.

Medicaid/Medicare sucks.

Social Security sucks.

Education sucks.

Unions suck.

The poor sucks.

The middle class sucks

Immigrants suck.

Global warming is a socialist concept.

Muslims suck.

Abortion sucks.

Civil Rights suck.

Same sex marriage is immoral.

Thin crust pizza rocks.

Leno is better than Conan.

Creationism is cool.

Revisionist History is the way to go.

Tax cuts for the rich are awesome.

Raping the environment is good.

Patriarchy and Misogyny is neat.

Theocracy is really cool.

The constitution is a guideline, not a rule.

The Supreme Court should be filled with the best judges money can buy.

Capitol Hill should sell corporate sponsorship to the Koch Brothers. You know, like the sports stadiums do.

Selling Utah to Wal-Mart is a viable option for deficit reduction.

Tim Pawlenty would combat terrorism by talking al-Qaida to death.

Torture is good, as long as it’s performed on Muslims.

The Statue of Liberty should be painted red, white, and blue, to show those nasty foreigners who’s in charge.

Not having a plan, or even a clue as to how to run the country is a conservative tradition.

Quote of the night from Rick Santorum: ” I think congressman Weiner has a nice cock.” “I mean, damn! Have you seen it?”

Jeez, I’m sorry I missed it. Thanks for sending me the highlights Gerry!

I plan on tuning in for the next debate if I don’t have something more important planned, such as cutting my toe nails, or contemplating my belly button.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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  1. June 14, 2011 at 9:17 am

    I didn’t waste my time last night … but gotta love this list.

    Like

  2. June 14, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    šŸ˜† That was 20 kinds of awesome. And “Gerry Mander” (hee) is a damn good source.

    Like

  3. June 14, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    Bravo! I didn’t watch it either, but read live blogs and followups. Looks like the consensus is that Pawlenty lost, but I suggest a remedy for T’Paw here:

    http://possibleexperience.blogspot.com/2011/06/clown-on-bus-tpaw-loses-last-nights.html

    Like

  1. June 15, 2011 at 8:26 am

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