Conservapalooza: The June 13, 2011 Edition.
Did anyone watch the Republican Presidential debate last night? I meant to, but I had the pressing matter of watching 2 reruns of Bones, having a snack, and going to bed to attend to.
However, my good friend Gerry Mander was there. Gerry writes the Conservative Mythology column for the conservative magazine The Fascist. Here’s the highlights according to Gerry:
Universal Health Care sucks.
Social Security sucks.
The poor sucks.
The middle class sucks
Global warming is a socialist concept.
Civil Rights suck.
Same sex marriage is immoral.
Thin crust pizza rocks.
Leno is better than Conan.
Creationism is cool.
Revisionist History is the way to go.
Tax cuts for the rich are awesome.
Raping the environment is good.
Patriarchy and Misogyny is neat.
Theocracy is really cool.
The constitution is a guideline, not a rule.
The Supreme Court should be filled with the best judges money can buy.
Capitol Hill should sell corporate sponsorship to the Koch Brothers. You know, like the sports stadiums do.
Selling Utah to Wal-Mart is a viable option for deficit reduction.
Tim Pawlenty would combat terrorism by talking al-Qaida to death.
Torture is good, as long as it’s performed on Muslims.
The Statue of Liberty should be painted red, white, and blue, to show those nasty foreigners who’s in charge.
Not having a plan, or even a clue as to how to run the country is a conservative tradition.
Quote of the night from Rick Santorum: ” I think congressman Weiner has a nice cock.” “I mean, damn! Have you seen it?”
Jeez, I’m sorry I missed it. Thanks for sending me the highlights Gerry!
I plan on tuning in for the next debate if I don’t have something more important planned, such as cutting my toe nails, or contemplating my belly button.
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
- Man Backs Bachmann (realclearchoices.wordpress.com)
- The N.H. debate: A viewer’s guide (politico.com)
- CNN Republican Debate (wizardofaws.wordpress.com)