2014 is around the corner. With crazy lady’s announcement that she is not seeking re-election, that leaves 17 tea bagging nut jobs left to be replaced in the House. Here’s hoping that the good people of 17 congressional districts come to their senses next fall
The alleged sexual harasser, serial cheater, and all around prejudiced elitist Herman Cain has finally dropped out of the 2012 presidential campaign. I would say good bye to bad rubbish, but Cain has
threatened promised to stick around to remain a so called voice of the people. He’s even started his own web site in order to allow him to keep spreading the manure that’s he’s been dropping on us for the past year. I’m sure his website will be very insightful and enlighten dozens about such evils as socialism, immigration, same sex marriage, and those damned Muslims. So long Herman; do us all a big favor and take Perry, Santorum, and Bachmann with you. By the way, don’t let the door hit you in your dumb ass on your way out.
Check out this exchange between Michele Bachman and Jane Schmidt, president of Waverly High School’s Gay-Straight Alliance:
JANE SCHMIDT: One of my main concerns is government support for the LGBT community. So my question is what would you do to protect GSAs in high school and support the LGBT community.
BACHMANN: Well, No. 1, all of us as Americans have the same rights. The same civil rights. And so that’s really what government’s role is, to protect our civil rights. There shouldn’t be any special rights or special set of criteria based upon people’s preferences. We all have the same civil rights.
JANE SCHMIDT: Then, why can’t same-sex couples get married?
BACHMANN: They can get married, but they abide by the same law as everyone else. They can marry a man if they’re a woman. Or they can marry a woman if they’re a man.
JANE SCHMIDT: Why can’t a man marry a man?
BACHMANN: Because that’s not the law of the land.
JANE SCHMIDT: So heterosexual couples have a privilege.
BACHMANN: No, they have the same opportunity under the law. There is no right to same-sex marriage.
JANE SCHMIDT: So you won’t support the LGBT community?
BACHMANN: No, I said that there are no special rights for people based upon your sex practices. There’s no special rights based upon what you do in your sex life. You’re an American citizen first and foremost and that’s it.
ELLA NEWELL, a junior at Waverly High School: Wouldn’t heterosexual couples, if they were given a privilege then, that gay couples aren’t, like given that privilege to get married, but heterosexual couples are given a privilege to get married?
BACHMANN: Remember every American citizen has the right to avail themselves to marriage but they have to follow what the laws are. And the laws are you marry a person of the opposite sex.
Once again, you have shown the country what a narrow minded, discriminatory ass hat you really are. For that you have earned the Obama Ear Scratch of The Week
By the way, your hubby is as gay as the day is long, and you are his beard. Accept it.
Many of you know that I have Bi-Polar disorder and I’ve been taking medication for a little over a year. In my case, along with the mood disorder comes an extreme obsession with death. Before I started the medication, the previous 30 to 40 years of my life involved non stop thoughts about suicide. I would spend hours of my day thinking of different ways to kill myself, as well as day dreaming about the reactions it would cause from the people I know. My obsession is what finally drove me into the hospital last year, and as a result, somebody finally figured out what was wrong with me, and got me on the right meds.
After I started my medication, the pendulum swung the other way; now I have an unhealthy fear of death. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can’t sleep at night, because I’m afraid I’ll wake up the next morning dead. I obsess, about the when and the how, and my loved ones that I would be leaving behind, as well as what I would be missing. I mean c’mon, the next season of Dexter is about to start, and it’s football season. I just simply do not have time to die at this point!
Early last week, I had my quarterly check up with my mental health provider. As a precaution, she told me to get a blood test in order to make sure that my medication was not having an adverse effect on my blood sugar and cholesterol. I go the next day to get the blood drawn, and by that night I’m getting a somewhat frantic voice mail from her telling me that there are “some values to the results that she doesn’t understand,” and that I should get into my doctor right away. Of course my mind immediately kicks into panic mode, and I start thinking that this is the beginning of the end for me. The other thought that occurred to me is “why in the fuck is my psychiatrist leaving a panicky call about test results on the voice mail of someone who is constantly obsessed about death? I mean, am I wrong here? What the fuck was she thinking? Leaving me a voice mail that my blood test came back weird, is like leaving Michele Bachmann a voice mail that an army of gay atheist unemployed socialists are on their way to her house to fuck her husband and raid her fridge. Panic is a guaranteed reaction.
The next morning, I make an appointment with my doctor, and I have my psychiatrist fax me the test results so I can take them in with me. At this point my morbid fear of death is getting the best of me, so it’s off to the internet we go, in order to try to make some sense of the results. Really bad idea! After checking out some medical websites, all indications were that I had Leukemia. What the fuck. I immediately go into full blown panic attack mode, which did not make for a very pleasant evening. My emotions got the best of me, and I couldn’t help but get pissed that I was going to die before Bengals owner Mike Brown does.
After all this, it turns out that there was nothing in the blood screen that indicates cancer. My doctor told me that I have a less than one percent chance of having it, and that the test results were an indication that I more likely have some condition that is related to my anemia, which I’ve had all my life. The end result was a drawing of 6 more vials of blood, and I’m waiting for the results of that screen. I also got the “BTW, you need to quit smoking and lose some weight” lecture, because it just wouldn’t be a productive visit to the doctor without getting that talk. Of course, after I left the doctor, my partner and I had a huge laugh over the whole over reacting to the blood test results thing.
I’ve re learned a couple of lessons from this; First off, never look up your test results on the internet on your own. Hell, if you Google the word Anemia, you’ll get a hundred thousand results that are guaranteed to scare the holy shit out of you. Second, I seriously have to get over this morbid obsession with death. I’m only 46 years old, and I’m guessing I still have a lot left in the tank. We’re all born with an expiration date: That’s just the way it is; there is absolutely no point in worrying about what I can’t control. I have plenty of other shit to worry about, like finances, or my job, or my psychotic son finding his way back to my house and killing me. Wait, what? Ah fuck!
- Go for it! (petesprostate.wordpress.com)
- Understanding Your Blood Test 101 Workshop – Audio Recording NOW Available! (wapfchicago.com)
- Is it normal to feel faint when giving blood? (zocdoc.com)
- Do I need a blood test to get a prescription for birth control? (zocdoc.com)
I thought I would share this article with you before I go back to reading about some psychoanalytical history of Adolf Hitler. Check out this quote from the queen of hoof in mouth disease:
Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.
Ms. Bachmann, you are a giant bag of douche.
It’s not quite as cool as a leg lamp, but it’s still an awesome acknowledgement! On Tuesday, my good friends at Spread Information awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award. The timing of it was amazing; I was sloughing through what was a pretty crappy day, when I happened to check my e-mail and come across Madeline’s post. The award and kind words helped me manage to turn my day around. Thanks so much Spread Information!
Since I’m still fairly new to Word Press, I wasn’t familiar with the Versatile Blogger Award, so I did a little research. There are three such awards that are passed to bloggers in the Word Press community in a pay it forward type fashion. The three awards are the previously mentioned Versatile Blogger, as well as the Stylish Blogger and the Irresistibly Sweet Blogger awards. Once you receive one of these awards, you’re supposed to do the following:
- Acknowledge and thank the blogger who gave it to you
- Name 7 things about yourself that is not widely known
- Name somewhere between 5 to 15 other blogs (I couldn’t find a definite number in my research) that you would like to share the award with.
- Contact the bloggers you are sharing your award with via e-mail.
Deservedly so, Spread Information won all three awards at once! As for 7 little known things about myself, well, let’s see what I can come with:
- I’m terrified of bees and wasps. If one even gets remotely near me, I will scream like a 14 year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert! I find it morally offensive that Mother Nature would create creatures that can fly, sting, and or bite.
- When it comes to useless information, I’m an idiot savant. Remember Cliff Claven from Cheers? I make him look like a rank amateur when it comes to remembering trivial brick a brack. At least once during the course of the day, I will have to field the question “ How do you know that shit?”
- I’ve lost 100 pounds: Twice. The second time I lost the weight, I’ve managed to keep it off for the last three years
- I can’t read a simple set of directions. I’m more of an auditory learner. When my partner and I tackle a project together, I need her to explain the procedures to me while I work. If I have to read the directions, it will never get done right!
- I’m a transportation manager for a whole sale meat distributor. Yet I hate trucks, and I eat very little meat. I loathe tractor trailers because they are 80,000 pound, carbon emitting, road clogging, lethal missiles. Hopefully, I can get out of this business soon and transition to teaching history once I get my degree.
- I butter my bread on both sides. Both my partner and I are Bisexual, although we like to think of ourselves as queer. The rocking part of this is that we share the same tastes in men and women
- I was a 300 pound lineman before 300 pound linemen were cool. Back in the early eighties when I was playing high school football, I topped out at 305 pounds. Back then there were hardly any 300 pound football players in the NFL, let alone high school. I drew interest from every major college football program in the country, including my dream school, THE Ohio State University. Unfortunately, I blew out my ankle and knee during my senior year, and the interest dried up
So now that you know a little more about me, it’s time to share my Versatile Blogger Award with some of my favorite blogs. And the winners are:
- Kansas Mediocrity. I love what Tracy does with his blog. He contributes relative commentary on politics and current events, as well as providing some really cool information on historical events involving his home state of Kansas. I look forward to finding new posts from him in my inbox on a daily basis.
- A Frank Angle. Frank’s posts are also a daily must read for me. His well written and thought provoking blog covers a gambit of topics ranging from A to Z.
- Tom Huff’s Blog. Tom and I don’t always see eye to eye in the political arena, but we usually find a common ground to agree upon. His daily Snapple Facts are right up my alley.
- Whatever Works. One of the first blogs I started reading when I joined Word Press. Moe does a great job with her blog, and it’s reflected by the amount of interaction on any one of her posts on any given day. She’s witty, intelligent, and I love her Friday Oldies!
- John Wylam’s Blog. John’s blog is what my blog aspires to be. John is an excellent writer with a keen eye for analyzing political and social issues. On any given day you can find posts on John’s blog that can range from an excellent excoriation of Michele Bachmann, to coverage of one of his favorite sports, NASCAR. If you haven’t treated yourself to his blog, please do so soon!
- I Want Ice Water. This blog is a diamond in the rough that I have come across fairly recently. IzaakMak is a virtual picture of versatility; he writes about anything and everything, and is a pleasure to read.
- The Fifth Column. Kay is liberal and outrageously funny. What’s not to love?
- Spinny Liberal. Another blogger after my own heart. Spinny attacks political and social issues with a humor and voracity that makes my blog seem downright droll.
- WriteChic Press. All I can say is wow. Just. Wow. My meager blog bows to her presence.
As a side note, I also want to thank my partner over at Carving Out a Voice. She is my muse, as well as my mentor. Our writing styles may be different, but she provided me with the foundation of writing skills on which to build upon. In addition she patiently listens to me blather on about subjects I’ve written about, as well as subjects I’m thinking of for future posts I love you gorgeous!
So there you have it folks: A little about me, and a little about the blogs that I have come to cherish. Hopefully, I’ve made somebody’s day by sharing the Versatile Blogger Award; my friends at Spread Information sure made my day, possibly my week!
- I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award! Yay! (linhtoomey.wordpress.com)
- Versatile Blogger Award Leads to Startling Revelation About Past Sins (schizophrenicwriter.wordpress.com)
- A Long Overdue Thank You…Day Two Hundred, Five (jodistone.wordpress.com)
- I am an Award Wining Blogger (imaginethespirit.wordpress.com)
- The Versatile Blogger Award Acceptance Speech (laradunning.wordpress.com)
- I am a Versatile Blogger (storytreasury.wordpress.com)
Here’s another foot in mouth moment for Michele Bachmann: While announcing her official candidacy today in Waterloo Iowa, she told Faux News that “John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That’s the kind of spirit I have too.”
The historically challenged Bachmann was kind of correct; John Wayne was from Waterloo. However, it was notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy who was from Waterloo, not the actor John Wayne, who Bachmann idolizes.
As most of you may remember from the headlines, or the TV movie featuring Brian Dennehy in a creepy clown suit, Gacy murdered 33 boys and young men. After he murdered them, he buried them in the crawl space under his house.
Hmmm, Bachmann wants to murder more of our civil liberties if elected, and bury them in the crawl space of her theocratical dream house. Maybe she was talking about the right John Wayne.
Much like a school yard bully,it seems as if the Republican Party can dish it out, but they can’t take it. At the Republican Leadership Conference (Republican leadership, now there’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one) in New Orleans this weekend, it was all shits and giggles while Obama impersonator Reggie Brown was making race jokes at Obama’s expense. When his attention turned to the GOP candidates and the Tea Baggers, the giggles went by-by, and it mostly turned to shit. When Brown started on Tea Bagging queen Michele Bachmann, the mic was cut off, and Brown was given the hook.
The Republicans never learn; remember when Stephen Colbert excoriated Bush at the White House press dinner in 2006? I guess the GOP doesn’t. Here’s a suggestion; why don’t you book Bill Maher at your convention next year? I hear he’s conservative friendly
Seriously Republicans, either screen your entertainment a little better, or learn how to take a joke. Better yet, how about realizing that your party, as well as your ideologies are a massive joke, and that any comic would be stupid not to take pot shots?
The Republicans are awesome at attacking others. However, when the tables are turned, they act surprised and butt hurt. After all, conservatives are just looking for civil discourse, right? I forget, when exactly did prejudicial hate jokes become civil discourse?
Ostensibly, the GOP stands for “grand old party”; I would submit that it stands for “gigantic oafish pricks.” No comedian is going to ignore the fact that the Republican Party is full of bigoted, sexist, bible thumping, greedy, power hungry dumb asses… No matter how much you pay them to speak at your vacuous events.
- Oliver Willis: The Minstrel Show At The Republican Leadership Conference (kaystreet.wordpress.com)
- Thinking about the Republican Leadership… (underthelobsterscope.wordpress.com)
- Fun Times at the Republican Leadership Conference (talkingpointsmemo.com)
- Obama Impersonator Tells Racial Jokes At GOP Conference, But Yanked For Mocking Republicans (mediaite.com)
Wow, it’s hard to believe that we’re into our fourth week of doing this. I’ve had a blast so far reading everyone’s topic suggestions; they have been marvelous! Once again, you have all submitted brilliant suggestions, and the ground hog and I had some very heated discussions over which one to pick. He wanted to go with Tori from Anytime Yoga and her suggestion of how to teach her dog to poop in Jan Brewer‘s shoes. Frankly, I think it’s because he’s an immigrant ground hog, and he would like to take a shot at her shoes himself. However, since it’s my blog, I had to pull rank and stay in the spirit of the GOP debate from Monday.
Therefore, the winner of this weeks Pick Your Topic Tuesday is: A Frank Angle with his suggestion that I come up with theme songs for the GOP candidates. I’m going to have a lot of fun with this one
As always, I will post on the topic no later than Friday, complete with A Frank Angle’s blog information.
Thanks again to everyone who contributed this week, and to those who are following but are too shy to suggest a topic, I have this advice from some coach somewhere: You can’t win if you don’t play!