Originally posted on Capricious Lestrange:
I imagine childbirth to be another memory hidden away in an avalanche of ruined messages somewhere along the synaptic highway of my dementia, the red and squalling life lost with it. Her tiny body wrinkled, covered in hair as a tiny caterpillar, legs and arms aflutter with their first taste of cold freedom, her terror shrill and demanding from purple lips; PUT ME BACK. She is wise in this demand, enfant terrible. I’d put her back too, save her from the despair of life we all must know; the trade off for our existence. I realize too late I do not have the strength to save her. The only way to save her is for her to not exist. In causing myself the greatest joy, I have caused her the susceptibility of existence. I love her already though, loved her years before she even came into existence, and I…
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Today marks the 8th anniversary of my marriage to a wonderful woman. You may know her as blogger Capricious Lestrange. This year, in instead of cards, we wrote to each other. Capricious wrote me a wonderful poem, which she will be cross posting on both her blog and mine. I chose to write about some of the wonderful memories that we have shared together through the years. This is what I came up with:
My love, when I think back on 8 years of marriage, and almost nine years of being together, these are the memories that come flooding into my mind:
Months of day dreaming and planning of how to escape my old life and start a new one with you – not even knowing if you felt the same way. The joy I felt on the day that you told me you did.
The weekends in Vandalia, lost in each other, oblivious to our surroundings.
The look of ecstasy on your face the first time that I came inside you.
Three days of being a zombie after pushing you away.
An hour of exhilaration, driving to Cincinnati to finally be with you, after getting asecond chance to be happy with you.
A summer spent in a high rise bedroom, day dreaming and planning a life together.
A smashed ironing board that had it coming.
Dinner and Mojitos in Miami.
A day on an island beach together, on a Caribbean island seemingly created for just us.
Running for our lives, $20 windfall in hand from Atlantis.
Making out on the ship at the pool party.
Making out pretty much everywhere else in public.
Our first Christmas and New Years together, and all that followed.
Our time in West Chester and Fairfield, spending moments with ghosts from the past – both good and bad, and both driving through the country, as well as in our apartment.
A box of crackers skittering across the floor toward my feet with bad intent.
Expanding your knowledge of football, while you expanded my knowledge of music, theatre, etc.
Nine Inch Nails!
Our first opera together.
The CD’s you made for me to listen to while I made the hour drive to work and back.
Painting our first apartment together, and eating Italian food while sitting on lawn furniture.
A whirl wind day of work, divorce papers, marriage license, and preparation, culminating in the bonding of two souls who were truly meant to be together.
A night at Putters, enjoying long islands, as well as a band whose name we can’t remember.
Working out, and laying by the pool together during our first year in Kentucky.
A lovely weekend on Dream Street.
Crying and hugging one another, before I had to go to Chicago, our first night apart since we got together.
An over turned kitchen cart, courtesy of yours truly (not my best moment).
Adopting the girls, and watching them grow together.
Our big beautiful house, and putting it together just right.
Backyard parties with all of our friends and family.
Grape vines and trees: although we never got to see them flourish, I know we left them for some lucky family to love as we did.
Crying in the bathroom at Mayfield, while you had your back surgery.
Shopping in Mexico, and smuggling Cuban cigars home.
The night we “made” new friends, before we had to bail your brother out of jail.
Clinging to each other, as we left our house for the last time.
Rock Band in our little attic hide away.
TFH and Capricious make a porno! With a little help from a boy toy ;)
Watching Tyler moon and stress over his cute girl friend.
Get aways to Scottie’s cabins, and the uncomfortable looks on his face as we expressed our unbridled desire for each other.
A wonderful Thanksgiving at the Gorge.
Trists while out in nature.
Our moments together that seem too short, and moments away that seem like eternity.
Napping together in a hospital bed.
Watching Aphrodite hulk out on a stray cat – behind the safety of a patio door.
Cheech and Chong, A German woman in drag, a hot tub, indoor pool, and an hors d’oeuvres picnic in Columbus.
Roger Waters performing The Wall, and the classic look on your sister’s face when we told her that the women hitting on her was a transsexual.
“I really like you (In classic Kentucky twang) I want you to be our tenant.”
Walks along the river, and drives in the country.
Lunch at a tiny sandwich shop outside of Frankfort. All because Guy Fieri said so.
Our trip to Gatlinburg.
Pointing out that you could be related to the clerk at the gift shop at the museum in Cherokee.
Our twin nieces in a frigid wading pool.
Dine and dash with Teagan, after waiting 45 minutes for a check that never came.
The two months we spent every second of every day together.
Discovering that yes, we did know our way around tools and building materials.
The way we literally devour things that we become passionate about. Like each other for instance.
The way we share together: Absolutely nothing seems to be out of bounds or off the table.
I know these aren’t in exact order, and that there are so, so many more memories that define our love and life together. Furthermore, there are so many more things to come as we walk hand in hand down this path we know as life. I’m going to keep this list close and add both past and present memories as time goes by. There are so many good things to come in our life. I know it. I love you with all my heart my darling soul mate.
Happy anniversary gorgeous. Thank you for choosing me :)
Post script: This is going on the list.
That magical 8th anniversary celebration on Buck Crossing. It was everything that I hoped for and more.
I’m still around, but I’m finding little joy in blogging right now :( I lost my job back in August, and though I’ve been in the transportation industry for nearly 30 years, I still have not managed to find a job in my field. I had to settle for a cashier job at a local convenience store; I work for a third of what I used to make, and in spite of severe back pain, I have to remain on my feet for 8-9 hours a day with no break of any sort! To cut expenses, we moved to a trailer park, and we’re fairly miserable here. The park is filthy, and the trailer is in more disrepair than what we originally thought. We’ve done a lot to rehab the trailer and we’re pretty proud of what we accomplished. However, there is a lot more to be done, and we have neither the money nor the energy to do it. We’re broke, and both my partner and I have been very tired, in a lot of pain, and very depressed as of late.
On the bright side, we got back our health insurance on January 1st (Thank you ACA!), and my wife is now back on her very needed medications. I have a doctor’s appointment in mid-February, and I’m looking forward to renewing some vital medications that I used to be on. We’re both managing to eat healthy; my wife has lost 27 pounds, and I’ve lost about 40 :) I’ve also picked back up on doing my PT for my back, and it is doing a bit better.
In spite of all of the personal set backs, I’ve still managed to keep up on the political world. Chris Christie, has once again shown himself to be the vengeful asshole that we’ve all known him to be, and Ted Cruz is still a douche. The GOP still remains in the public eye as the disconnected, borderline sociopath party of no. In spite of getting trounced in last year’s election and ever declining popularity, the Republican party of religious elitist extremist seem hell bound on doubling down their message that unless you’re a white rich christian male, you’re of little use to them. However, we’re of great use to them; they divide us with their messages of hate and fear in order to make us hate each other. This is a very useful tool in the sense that it keeps the rest of us from uniting into one super group as it were, that could possibly wield a great deal of power, and dismantle the corporate and religious structure that continues to keep us among the “have nots”. The Republican party, with all of its religious dogma and corporate might has become indeed, the American Taliban. The 2014 elections are going to be a good marker to just how much the American people have grown tired of their shenanigans.
At any rate, I just wanted to let you know that I’m still around and I’m still writing occasionally. I’m going to try to write more, and I hope you will continue to visit my little corner of the world from time to time.
In closing, I want to share this Coca Cola commercial that aired during the Super Bowl. Apparently, the Tea-Billies are in quite the uproar over it.
Coca Cola: Now sweetened with the tears of xenophobes.
Much love and peace to ya’ll :)
Oh come on now Grumpy Cat, you know you love this time of year :) Happy holidays everyone, I hope the season has brought you nothing but love and good cheer. Remember, it’s not what you get that counts; It’s what you give to those who love you, the gift of yourself.
Peace and love to all of my wonderful readers!
The 50th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy passed us by a few days ago. Rightfully so, his death was heavily commemorated in the media. There was reminiscing over what was during Camelot, what was accomplished, and rumination over what may have been had he lived to serve two terms. Of course, along with the examination of the Kennedy political machine came the rehashing of the endless conspiracy theories that have abounded over the past five decades over what really happened. With my blog titled as it is, I would be remiss not to throw in my two cents worth of conspiracy theory as well.
I was born in the spring of 1965, about a year and a half after the killing of JFK. It would be nearly a decade after I was born that I would fully understand the Kennedy assassination. However, when I came to comprehend what happened, I spent a lot of my time reading about his death, his history and legacy, as well as the countless theories over why he died and who was responsible. Through all of my research and understanding, here is what I believe to have happened. Keep in mind, this is merely opinion I give based on what is known: My conclusions are not new nor ground breaking. It is a theory that is both popular, well discussed and written about. In my opinion, the CIA is responsible for the death of JFK, either with or without the help of the Mafia, and Lee Harvey Oswald was not the lone gunman, as concluded by the Warren Commission. I’m not really sure how anyone in their right mind could actually believe that Oswald could be solely responsible.
Believing that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone gunman is akin to believing in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. I, for the life of me, do not understand how anyone can conclude that Oswald, although an expert sniper trained by our military, could possibly squeeze off three precision shots from such a long distance with his view partially blocked by a tree. Furthermore, I can’t fathom that he was able to accomplish this with a twenty dollar bolt action rifle in under what? Thirty seconds? No one has been able to replicate his shots from the school book depository where he fired from. They either can not perform the actions necessary with a bolt action rifle to fire and reload the chamber three times in that short amount of time, or they can’t achieve it with any kind of accuracy. It’s not doable, it’s just not. You also have to consider this: the wounds taken by Kennedy, as well as John Connally, who was also shot while riding with Kennedy that day were not consistent with the trajectory of the bullets. In fact, films taken of the assassination show Kennedy lurching forward after the first hit, and then violently arcing backward with massive amounts of blood spraying from behind and from the side of his head, indicating that the kill shot would have come from in front of him. So no, Oswald was not alone. He worked in tandem with another shooter, both of whom acted under the orders of the CIA. Why the CIA you ask? Stay with me, I’m getting to that.
The fact of the matter is, by the late fifties/early sixties, the CIA was an operation that reported to no one. They had developed complete and unabashed autonomy. They were directing covert operations throughout the globe, including south east Asia and communist controlled Cuba. The Kennedy’s, both John and his brother Robert, detested the CIA for their actions. They fought them at every turn and rightly believed that if anyone could bring down their administration, it would be the CIA in either a bloodless or bloody coup. They were painfully correct. The history of the malevolence between the CIA and the Kennedy’s is very compelling, which leads me to believe that they were responsible for not only John’s death, but possibly Robert’s as well.
First off, the CIA was furious over Kennedy’s actions (or inactions) during the Bay of Pigs invasion in Cuba. For those of you not familiar, here’s the Bay of Pigs in a nutshell. Not long before Kennedy took office, lame duck president Eisenhower approved a CIA plan to over throw Fidel Castro, and put in place an American friendly government. This invasion was to take place shortly after Kennedy took office, and if needed, military support would be provided. While the invasion did take place, it went horribly wrong, and Kennedy refused to provide the much needed air support to turn it around in the CIA’s favor. In short, the Bay of Pigs was a fiasco, a black eye for the CIA, and to add insult to injury, CIA director Alan Dulles was removed from his post by Kennedy days after the failed coup attempt. Kennedy wanted peace, and he understood that any movement toward Cuba (as well as South East Asia, and Eastern Europe) would not only heat up the Cold War: It would most likely move us into full blown nuclear war with the Soviet Union. As a side note, I find these nuggets interesting: At the time, George H. W. Bush was an assistant director at the CIA. The code name for the Bay of Pigs operation was Zapata (now known as the Harbinger Group), which also happens to be the name of the oil company that Bush owned. In addition, hours after Kennedy was shot, there was a meeting in CIA headquarters in Langley. One of the few attendees of this debriefing was George H.W. Bush.
The next strike from Kennedy against the CIA came in his refusal to provide 140,000 ground troops to Laos. At the time Laos was run by a puppet government controlled by the agency. When this government came under attack by the communist Pathet Lao guerillas, the CIA as well as right wing war hawks demanded that Kennedy provide troops as well as nuclear weapons. His stead fast refusal would lead to the fall of the CIA controlled regime, infuriating both the hierarchy of the CIA and the joint chiefs of staff. Laos was just the tip of the Asian iceburg: Kennedy would vehemently clash with the CIA over Vietnam as well.
The CIA wanted full blown war in Vietnam. They wanted this in order to halt the spread of communism in order to control financial interest for corporate America. Kennedy wanted peace, he had no interest in promoting war for corporate interest, and he wanted nothing more than to end the Cold War and the proliferation of nuclear weapons. Kennedy was interested in cooperation with the communist, not competition. He wanted nothing to do with other countries civil wars, and had no wish to see Americans die in someone else s fight. In the latest edition of Rolling Stone Magazine, Robert Kennedy Jr writes of this: He describes how his uncle would only consent to sending a handful of military “advisers” to South Vietnam in order to assist the South Vietnamese army. Upon learning that 100 Americans had died in battle in 1962, JFK swore that American involvement would be reduced to nothing by 1965.
Further infuriating the CIA was Kennedy’s motions toward ending the Cold War with the Soviet Union. Without the Cold War, the CIA would probably have been de-funded and ceased to exist. The CIA’s sole purpose at the time was to fight communism and protect American financial interest abroad. Without the Cold War, why would the CIA be needed? While war hawks such as Alan Dulles and Barry Goldwater railed against communist aggression, Kennedy was quietly building trust with Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev. They corresponded regularly, and were covertly working together to form alliances and peace, not competition and war. Of course there were those in Soviet government who thought like the america right wing extremist at the time. Within a year after Kennedy’s death, Khrushchev was removed from power, and replaced by party puppets Leonid Brezhnev and Alexei Kosygin. The CIA would live on to subvert other governments, and the Cold War would live on another 25 years after the death of JFK and removal of Nikita Khrushchev. Meanwhile, those who were heavily invested in the finances of the Cold War machine would become filthy rich. Go figure.
So there you have it: My opinion on who killed Kennedy, and why. Like I said earlier, it’s just my opinion based on what I’ve read in the past. I have no proof, and my thoughts are nothing that haven’t been presented before. However, I do feel as if I’m presenting an opinion based on logic. JFK detested the CIA and wanted to bring it to the ground. The CIA hated Kennedy, and had every motivation to remove him from office – remove him for a more CIA friendly president by the name of Lyndon Johnson, who coincidentally hailed from the state of Texas and hated Communism. Hmmmmm.
What are your thoughts? Do you believe that Oswald acted alone? Do you think the Mafia did it? It’s also a plausible theory when you consider that John and Robert were out to destroy the Mafia. Or do you prescribe to another theory? I would love to hear your opinions on the subject!
By the way, the Warren Report is complete and utter bullshit. It was a charade played out in order to placate the public, and bring closure to a horrific and traumatizing event. How can anyone take such a report that was manufactured by a commission in which Alan Dulles sat upon seriously? Chew on that for a minute and get back to me.
- The Kennedy Assassination (November 22, 1963) 50 Years Later (distributedfreedom.wordpress.com)
- Why’d Oswald Do It? (slate.com)
- Jesse Ventura: JFK Assassination (forum.prisonplanet.com)
- CNN finally admits CIA may have conspired to kill JFK (lunaticoutpost.com)
- Fifty years later, J.F.K.’s assassination is the mother of all conspiracy theories – NorthJersey.com (northjersey.com)
- Half a century later, JFK conspiracies still thrive (kansascity.com)
- Six JFK-Assassination Skeptics (nation.time.com)
Here’s a terrific synopsis from Rachel Maddow concerning the House Republican devised government shut down. Unsurprisingly, they have been gleefully planning this since 2010, when the GOP took over house majority.
As of April, at least 8 states have instituted some form of mandatory drug testing for those who are in need of some manner of public assistance. In addition, another 29 states (mostly red states) have introduced legislation to introduce mandatory drug testing as part of their public assistance programs. I came across this article yesterday: The Myth of Welfare and Drug Use – The Daily Beast. Think mandatory drug testing is saving us money? Check out this passage about drug testing in Utah:
The myth of welfare recipients spending their benefits on drugs is just that—a myth. And indeed, in Utah, only 12 people out of 466—or 2.5 percent—showed evidence of drug use after a mandatory screening. The total cost to the state was $25,000, or far more than the cost of providing benefits to a dozen people. The only thing “gained” from mandatory drug testing is the humiliation of desperate people.
As tax payers, we pay thousands in order to catch and deny benefits to a little under three percent of those who are in need of government assistance. It would be cheaper to the public if we just paid out the damned assistance, and invested, oh, I don’t know, maybe some jobs programs? That would make too much sense though. I’m guessing that the Republican state legislators that voted in this law are probably in the back pockets of big pharmaceuticals. You know, the companies that make and sell these expensive drug tests. It’s just another example of how the “Haves” make billions from the debasement of the unfortunate. This is right up there with private run prisons, which are over run with people who don’t belong there. It’s about the money. Ya dig? Think about it: all of the clinics and doctors and lab techs that are needed to conduct these test – who foots the bill? The government of course. Who collects the money? Big medical and pharmaceutical corporations, an industry that has a huge lobby in state and federal government. It’s the perfect scam, almost as perfect as the car dealer wanting to charge you extra to put undercoating on your new car.
In other words, we’re paying for something that is simply not fucking needed. You know who needs to pee in a cup? Republicans: they live in such a world that is so far removed, that they must be on something good. How else can their collective behaviors be explained?
- Pregnant Indiana Women Now Forced to Take Drug Tests (misbehavedwoman.wordpress.com)
- The Myth of Welfare and Drug Use (schnittshow.com)
- Roxas eyes mandatory drug test even for non-drug offenders (newsinfo.inquirer.net)
The U.S. has a long history of military intervention in other countries for capitalist gain. Having said that, I’m still not sure where I stand on Syria. If Assad is definitively using chemical weapons, then yes, he must be stopped. The Erstwhile Conservative makes a strong case for our intervention in this post.
Originally posted on The Erstwhile Conservative: A Blog of Repentance:
The extremists prefer polemics to analysis of the real issue, which is whether the U.S. can be sufficiently inspired by the indiscriminate deaths of 400 children to formally accept a role as world policeman for WMD’s.
The difficulty of getting a decision on this that is correct for the long pull is just that, people aren’t good at long-range planning.
I will use my reply to Jim as a statement on my position on what the U.S. should do relative to the use of chemical weapons in Syria:
As I have previously stated, and despite what Secretary of State John Kerry said today before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, the United States is, if there is ever to be one, the world’s policeman. There simply…
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