Home > Sports > An Open Letter of Concession to The University of Michigan

An Open Letter of Concession to The University of Michigan

Dear University of Michigan:

I am writing you this letter to acknowledge that after 7 years of humiliating your football program, there is a good chance that you might actually win this year. Even though our team has yet again some of the best talent in the country, we are young and inexperienced, as well as guided by an interim coach who is in way over his head. Therefore, I would like to congratulate you in advance for your hard earned, some what tainted victory.

Although I fully concede the fact that you probably will beat us this year, that doesn’t change the fact that you still suck. This year’s victory is a hiccup in our storied rivalry, nothing more. By this time next year, our incredibly talented, young team will have another year of experience under our scarlet and grey belts. In addition, we will be coached by one of many top shelf college coaches who are chomping at the bit to have the privilege of leading our program. Urban Meyer would be one such coach who comes to mind; Bo Pelini would be another coach who comes to mind as well.

When our highly anticipated Big Ten death match comes around this time next year, I anticipate- no, I guarantee that we will resume our seasonal practice of whooping your maize and blue ass. In the meantime, enjoy your expected victory over our weakened team.

Signed,
THE Ohio State University

P.S, Ann Arbor is a whore.

  1. December 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    I liked your Cain post. I should have known you were a fellow Buckeye. We don’t give a damn for the whole state of Michigan. OH-
    Dan

  2. Sedate Me
    September 8, 2013 at 11:49 am

    And the winner will be…the one with the sketchiest, most corrupt practices!

    I can’t stand how even college sports has been so thoroughly bastardized by the filthy lucre.

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